Although many people are aware that divorce is common, few know the reasons why it happens. Understanding why divorces happen can help you identify signs in your own marriage. It can also give you a more complete picture of the way that the divorce process functions.

Every couple is different, but there are some key general indications that a divorce is in a couple’s future.

  1. Communication

    Communication is key in any relationship, romantic or platonic. However, when a married couple lacks healthy communication practices, it can be a sign of problems to come. Many couples find that a lack of communication leads to resentment. This can cause a couple to grow apart emotionally. Others find that they cannot communicate their wants and needs. If they feel that their wants and needs are being ignored, it is difficult to remain happy in their marriage.

    Nearly all the problems below stem from a lack of communication.

  2. Boredom

    Many couples fall into a routine that leaves one or both parties feeling restless or bored. If this feeling goes unfixed for too long, couples can feel passionless. They may even grow apathetic toward one another. These types of feelings often lead to divorce.

  3. Infidelity

    Infidelity is a top cause of marital dissolution. This can sometimes be the result of poor communication or boredom. However, it is not necessarily the case in all situations. Extramarital affairs often cause a breach of trust, and trust is key in long-term romantic relationships. Many couples find that they cannot repair their relationship after trust has been broken. If so, divorce eventually occurs.

  4. Unrealistic Expectations

    Having unrealistic expectations for one’s partner can easily lead to disappointment. Being on the receiving end of expectations can lead to feelings of failure and low self-esteem. When one spouse has high or unrealistic expectations for the other spouse, the resulting mixture of emotions often leads to emotional separation and divorce.

  5. Lack of Preparation

    Some couples enter into marriage deliberately. However, others get married because of peer or societal pressure. Still, others have an idealistic view of what marriage is. When the resulting situation is disappointing or does not meet their expectations, it can be difficult for couples to accept or adjust to their reality. Many divorce as a result.

Steps Before Divorce

Although the above situations may happen to you, it is important to know that divorce is not the only route. It is certainly a viable choice, but it is beneficial for your marriage as well as your divorce process to try a few alternatives first.

Couples’ Therapy

Seeing a counselor with your spouse can help you communicate and work through some of the major problems that have occurred. The therapist can also help you develop communication methods to use outside the therapy sessions. This can improve the quality of a marriage and help avoid divorce.


Some couples opt to separate before they fully divorce. Although it is not mandatory in Kansas, a separation period of living apart can help both individuals gain perspective and the space to work through major problems. Many states require a separation period because some couples ultimately navigate their obstacles and remain married. This requirement prevents many unnecessary divorces.

New Routines

It is normal for a marriage to go through ups and downs. In many circumstances, the low points are the result of a stagnant routine or a lack of excitement. Some couples have success doing something new together, such as taking a vacation or beginning a new hobby. Sometimes a small amount of change can inspire major shifts in a relationship.


Q: What Should I Look for in a Divorce Lawyer?

A: Your top priority when looking for a divorce attorney should be the lawyer’s experience with divorces like yours. Every divorce is different, but certain key similarities between your case and your attorney’s past cases can help you win more favorable divorce terms. It is also important that you get along with your attorney and feel as though you can speak openly with them. Finally, be sure that your attorney’s fees are within your budget.

Q: Do I Have to Separate Before Divorcing in Kansas?

A: No. Kansas does not have a mandatory separation period for couples wishing to seek a divorce. The only time-related requirement is that you and your spouse have both lived within the state for at least 60 days. You do not have to live apart from your spouse before you file for a divorce, nor after your petition has been filed. Kansas is unique in this way, as many states do require a waiting period of 6 months or more.

Q: Do I Need an Attorney for a Divorce in Kansas?

A: You do not legally need an attorney to seek a divorce in Kansas. However, it is to your benefit to have one. Without an attorney, you may miss out on key terms and options in your divorce. Many divorcing individuals without representation receive an unfavorable child custody agreement, poor spousal support payments, and more. Hiring an attorney protects your interests and ensures that the court hears and understands your perspective.

Q: What Always Leads to Divorce?

A: Although there is no one thing that always results in a couple’s divorce, communication is central to most marital issues. Many couples do not formulate a method of communication in their marriage. When this happens, resentments grow, needs go unmet, and issues go unresolved. All these lead to emotional distance and may result in divorce. Some divorces can be avoided with the help of a couples’ therapist.

Contact Stange Law Firm in Wichita, KS

Here at Stange Law Firm, we treat every case with care and compassion. We understand that, though we handle these cases every day, you are likely going through the process for the first time. Therefore, we take the time and effort to treat every client with the utmost care and attention.

For more information about our firm, or to schedule a consultation, please contact Stange Law Firm today.