When two people decide to get married, the hope is that their love will last forever and how they feel in the early days of their relationship will be how they feel for the rest of their lives. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. Sometimes, marriages don’t work out despite our best intentions and efforts. It isn’t always easy to admit that your marriage isn’t working, but if you’re feeling unhappy and as though you’ve tried everything to make things better, it might be time to have a conversation with your partner about getting a divorce. This can be a terrifying prospect, but there are ways to make it a little easier while maximizing your chances of having a productive conversation.
If you’re not sure how to bring up the topic of divorce with your partner, here are a few tips to help you get started:
- Choose the right time and place to talk. You’re not going to have a productive conversation about such a sensitive topic if you’re both tired, hungry, or in the middle of a busy day. Instead, choose a time when you’re both relaxed and can give the conversation your full attention. Sometimes being surprised by a serious discussion can lead to defensive reactions, so it might be helpful to let your partner know in advance that you want to talk about something important.
- Be honest about your feelings. Your partner might not be aware of how unhappy you are in the marriage, so it’s important to be honest about your feelings. Be direct and tell them that you’re not happy and why you think getting a divorce is the best solution. It’s okay to be emotional, but try to avoid attacking your partner or placing blame.
- Listen to your partner’s perspective. After you’ve shared your own feelings, it’s important to give your partner a chance to share their perspective. Try to listen without becoming defensive and really try to understand their point of view. It’s possible that you might not see eye-to-eye on everything, but it’s important to try to come to a mutual understanding.
- Be prepared to compromise. There’s a good chance that your partner will have different thoughts and feelings about getting a divorce than you do. So it’s important to be prepared to compromise and meet in the middle. If you’re both able to agree on some key points, that is a good sign there might be some room for negotiation. Showing you can bend for the greater good can go a long way.
- Seek professional help. If you’re having difficulty communicating with your partner or are unsure how to proceed, seek professional help. A counselor or therapist can provide guidance and support as you navigate this difficult time. An attorney can offer legal advice and help you manage obstacles such as disagreements on child custody and property division that might be standing in the way of your divorce.
Q: What if My Partner Doesn’t Want to Talk About Divorce?
A: If your partner isn’t ready to talk about divorce, it might be helpful to wait a little while before bringing it up again. In the meantime, you can try to work on your communication and problem-solving skills with the help of a professional. If your partner is still not ready to talk about divorce after some time has passed, you might consider taking unilateral action, such as consulting with an attorney. However, sometimes one couple will intentionally delay conversations about divorce to kick the can down the road, so to avoid sitting in limbo, it might be best to tap the help of a professional to get the conversation going.
Q: What if My Partner Gets Angry When I Bring Up Divorce?
A: It’s possible that your partner might react angrily when you first bring up the topic of divorce. This is normal and to be expected, especially if the topic is a shock to them. However, if your partner starts to yell or gets violent, it’s important to remove yourself from the situation and seek professional help. In most cases, it’s best to avoid getting into a heated argument with your partner about the topic of divorce. Instead, try to have a calm and level-headed conversation that emphasizes how much you still care about them despite the difficulties in your relationship.
Q: What Are Some Common Reasons Couples Get Divorced?
A: Some common reasons couples divorce include infidelity, financial problems, communication breakdowns, and different values or lifestyles. Of course, every couple is different, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. In general, what originally brought you together as a couple might have been challenged, shifted, or completely changed over time, leading to a feeling of disconnection. If you’re considering getting a divorce, exploring the underlying reasons you feel like this is the best solution for your relationship might be helpful.
Q: What Are Some Things I Can Do to Make the Divorce Process Easier?
A: One of the best things you can do to make the divorce process easier is to try to come to an agreement with your spouse on as many key points as possible. This can help avoid conflict and costly legal battles down the road. If you have children, it’s also important to consider their needs and make arrangements that are in their best interests. Finally, it’s important to take care of yourself physically and emotionally during this difficult time. Seek professional help if you need it, and make sure to lean on your support system of family and friends.
Overall, divorce is a complicated and emotionally charged process that can challenge the best of us. However, there is a time when it is necessary to have a conversation with your spouse. By following the tips above, you can help make this process go as smoothly as possible. If you are ready to discuss divorce with your partner but still have lingering questions on the process or would like professional guidance, please reach out to an experienced Wichita family lawyer today.