It’s important to remember that a divorce is not just going to affect you and your spouse. It’s going to have a considerable effect on every aspect of your life, from your social circle to your relationship with your kids. This is especially true if you have been married for a long time. Your life, as you currently know it, may be connected to your spouse. When your marriage falls apart, it can be hard to prioritize your kids. A divorce lawyer can help you stay connected.

The last thing you want is for your divorce to permanently damage your relationship with your kids, which can happen if you are not careful. As your marriage falls apart, it’s not uncommon for you to focus so hard on finalizing the divorce process and avoiding financial ruin that you inadvertently neglect your kids. Your divorce may be just as hard on them as it is on you, maybe even more so. Staying connected and prioritizing your relationship with your kids is vital.

How to Co-Parent Successfully

Few things in your life can be as infuriating and overwhelming as dealing with a contentious divorce with a spiteful ex. It can be hard to negotiate with someone who only seems to want to make things difficult for you, no matter the situation. Throughout the divorce, your spouse may have done whatever they could to hurt you and even harm your relationship with your kids. As things are finalized, you may be unsure of what to do next and how to approach moving on.

Depending on the custody arrangement worked out by you, your ex, or the court, you may have to work out a parenting plan with your ex. Co-parenting with an ex can be a difficult situation, especially if there is still bad blood between the two of you. Regardless, you must focus on helping your kids with a transition they never prepared for or asked for. Your kids are going to be confused, angry, and probably sad about everything.

Throughout it all, you will need to abide by the parenting plan set forth by the court. It can be frustrating to have to obey a parenting plan with a contentious ex. However, your kids need structure, stability, and the influence of both parents if the court has not deemed your ex a threat to their well-being. If possible, you both should work together for your kids.

According to information from the CDC, Kansas has one of the lowest divorce rates in the entire country, at just 1.9 per 1,000 residents as of 2022. Similarly, the marriage rate in Kansas in 2023 was 5.3 per 1,000 residents, according to the Kansas Department of Health and Environment. Handling your divorce while also trying to parent effectively can be stressful. Speaking with a local support group like DivorceCare can be beneficial to your situation in more ways than one.

Staying Connected With Your Kids

Never forget that your kids are going to be affected by your divorce, especially if there has already been a contentious home environment since you and your spouse decided to end things. They may not know what’s happening, and they may be too scared to approach you to talk about it. That can foster blame and animosity against both parents. It may fall to you to foster a positive environment for your kids. Here are some things you can do to encourage a positive relationship:

  • First and foremost, you need to be honest with your kids. Something is happening that may be affecting their well-being. They will need guidance, stability, and at least one parent who is going to be honest with them. Kids are people with their own insecurities and fears. Let them talk to you, listen patiently, and make it known that you will always be there for them no matter what.
  • You need to manage your expectations. Change is not going to happen overnight. Change and growth take work, commitment, and consistency. Stick to a regular schedule, maintain a secure home life, and don’t force anything.

FAQs

Q: Why Is Communication With My Kids Important?

A: Communication with your kids is important because you want them to trust you. Constant communication fosters positive growth and trust. Establishing a strong bond with your kids is vital in many different ways, especially after a divorce. If your kids feel like they can’t talk to you about important things, that may be a sign that they don’t trust you. That’s the last thing you want.

Q: Does Infidelity Affect a Kansas Divorce?

A: Yes, infidelity can affect a Kansas divorce. Since Kansas is a no-fault divorce state, infidelity can’t be a ground for divorce. However, it can certainly affect asset division and custody arrangements. If you can prove that your spouse used marital funds to pay for an affair, the court won’t take kindly to that. It could result in you receiving a favorable split of assets.

Q: Is Parental Alienation Illegal in Kansas?

A: No, parental alienation is not illegal in Kansas. However, it can have significant consequences in civil court if you are able to prove that your spouse is alienating your kids. Parental alienation is not uncommon after contentious custody battles. One parent uses bribes, threats, and manipulation to try and turn your kids against you. Proving parental alienation can be difficult, but the result can be a total loss of custody.

Q: Which Parent Will Automatically Get Custody?

A: There is no way to immediately tell which parent will get automatic custody. In Kansas, both the mother and the father are considered equal parents with equal responsibilities towards their kids. The court will need to look at the evidence at hand in order to determine which parent will be granted full custody. Most of the time, the court will push for joint custody in order to ensure both parents are equally involved.

Contact a Lawyer Today

At Stange Law Firm, we can help you work through your divorce. Contact us to speak to a valued team member about your case.